Sunday, September 16, 2007

Burlesque in the House!

Well hello again you lovely people!
I hope that this chilly September evening finds you all warm and filled with good food...and booze, of course. We can't forget the booze. The hooch. The inebriants. The moonshine. The liquor...
Okay, I'll stop.
I haven't written in a while because I was preparing for my Spectacular Extravaganza with Miss Seska Lee, The Sweet Dream Soirée, along with a slew of other fabulous Montreal performers! For those of you who saw it, thank you soooooo much! For those of you that didn't...well...I hope that you'll come to the next ones! And that you'll bring me an apology gift. Hahahaha!
I'm actually not kidding, just so you know. Missing a Miss Sugarpuss show is definitely frowned upon! How else can you fully appreciate the curves and poise and pratfalls and copious booze consumption that I embody if you don't come to see my show?
I mean, the stage is where I can be fully and utterly drunken, Miss Sugarpuss self!
You may think that this sounds particularly slovenly, or perhaps even a bit narcissistic. Or perhaps both.
Well it is both, in fact. I am slovenly and narcissistic, but I look fantastic in pasties and feathers, so in the end we all win!
Now, you may be thinking that the booze might be flowing a little too much, and that I'll never ever get to the point of this particular blog. And you may be right. But I can definitely try to impart some sage burlesque advice before I go off to cuddle my bottle of gin before bed. In bed. Whatever.
If you want to bring a little more burlesque into your life, you must remember the cardinal rules! I will give you one of them now, as a little parting gift. Because I must depart, and quickly. Now don't all collectively gasp in horror! I know you'll miss me terribly. However, you must all understand that a strict diet of martinis and olives may sound glamourous, but it takes a lot of strength, stamina and bladder control to constantly be running (in heels and gowns, thank you very much!) to the powder room!
What the heck was I saying? I zoned out of my own blogging after I wrote the word 'martini'...
Aah, yes. The advice. Right.
Rule #1: Be yourself, fully, truly and fabulously, no matter the circumstances, and no matter how many people, monkeys, vodka bottles and/or law enforcement officers stand in your way! Live your life as your own, and your essence of inner burlesque will come shining through, even if there are obstacles in your path. I encountered an obstacle the other day while I was strolling down the street, you know! It was one of those poles that hold up lights or electrical boxes or those traffic trolls that take pictures of you while you're driving or something, and it was right smack-dab in the middle of where I, Miss Sugarpuss, Burlesque-Queen Extraordinaire, was sauntering and prancing! It was an affront to sidewalk-dancing burlesque queens everywhere, I tell you! Sheesh!
Anyway, instead of yelling at it to get me a vodka-soda or get out of my way (which I do very seldom...I swear....), I simply threw back my shoulders, flipped my hair and twirled right around it, smiling and laughing at my brilliant, flamboyant and unconventional manner of avoiding what could have been an ugly altercation between my cute little button-nose and that filthy metal post!
When the dizziness and nausea subsided, I turned myself around and continued on my walk, feeling happy that I had not shied away from making a spectacle of myself, and that I had added a little colourful flair to the less-than-scintillating events on the street!
So you see, dear reader(s)? You can still live life happily without burlesque to enrich you, but if you appreciate the minutiae of daily life and the fact that there is plenty of opportunity and joy to go around, your inner burlesque-essence will have no choice but to leak out!! Just be sure to have an embroidered hanky on hand to mop up afterwards! Hahaha. Just a joke.
A bad one, to be sure. But a joke nonetheless!
I will take leave of you now, my dear friends, as I may or may not be going to imbibe some form of incapacitating beverage, but remember that I love you, and that your support and willingness to put up with me does not go unnoticed.
Sleep well!
Love and Pasties,
Miss S

1 comment:

Unknown said...